My Attitude = Your Attitude By Michael Poll "We all live under the same sky...but we do not all have the same horizon." Diplomat Konrad Adenauer "Everybody lights up a room. Some when they enter...some when they leave. Optimistic people brighten up the room when they enter...with their attitude. Pessimistic people brighten up the room when they leave by taking their negative attitudes away with them." "Attitude is a mental filter through which we process our thoughts and view the world." "The average person has more than 50,000 separate thoughts per day...Attitude IS Everything!" APOLLO 13 MISSION, 1970. Stranded 100,000 miles from Earth with no hope of rescue. Flight Director, Gene Krantz held the team together..."Stop thinking about what we don't have. What have we got on the spacecraft that's good?" The Best and The Worst The best thing about attitudes is that they can change. The worst thing about attitudes is that they can change. This is good news for you and me. Because attitudes change, we can have an impact in influencing that change to a positive attitude. First Meeting Impacts In the past four days, what new people have you met? Think about it. Go into your mind and think about the new people you have met perhaps at work, in your neighborhood, on a plane, at the store or in the park. When you meet people for the first time, three things typically happen: 1. First Encounter Imprint Our mind takes a quick imprint of that person and stores it for us to remember later. Seriously...think about the last store you visited. Perhaps it was a grocery store or a video store. Remember paying for your items. I bet you just saw, in your mind, a picture of the person behind the counter. That "First Encounter Imprint" stays with us for a long time. Lesson: Put your best foot forward in your appearance and with your demeanor. 2. First Contact Whoever says hello first, or, makes the first eye contact or body motion has the upper hand in guiding the tone of the encounter. Think about it. That store clerk, your bank teller or the wait staff person in the last restaurant you ate in...if they made "First Contact" then they could guide the experience. When we meet someone and they are grumpy and don't smile, we rarely smile back. When someone greets us with a smile, we usually perk right back in the same way. In other words, we respond in kind with similar feelings. That's good news because it means you can guide the encounter by making the First Contact the way you want the encounter to go. In almost every case, I want the encounter to be positive and upbeat, so, I lead with a positive demeanor. I'm upbeat, I smile, I exude confidence and excitement. The result is that people almost always return in kind. Another result, I usually get better service and get more benefits than others. Lesson: Make a positive impression by leading the way. 3. Forgetful Me The third thing is actually something that we recognize time and time again and promise to change. How often have we met somebody and instantly forgotten their name? We panic and wonder how we will find out what it is without feeling foolish and asking them to repeat it. We promise ourselves that this "forgetting names" won't happen again. Two minutes later, you are introduced to another person and it happens again! The problem is that most people do not learn the names to begin with. Our active subconscious kicks in and, when we are introduced to someone, we begin to check ourselves out. That's right, we wonder, "How do I look?" "What will this person think of me?" "What can I tell this person about me?". We may not think of this consciously but it happens to most people. The focus is on "me" and not them. The key is to focus. Focus intently on the other person. The bottom line is that (A) you cannot change how you look now, the person is already looking at you. And (B), who cares what this person thinks about you? They are going to make determinations and have thoughts about you regardless. Finally (C), don't focus on what you can tell them about yourself, focus on them. I know, this is all easier said than done, and I've been guilty of this from time to time as well. Some tips: Focus and look directly into the person's eyes. Listen to their name and repeat it silently. Possibly ask them to repeat it (first and last name) so you can hear it again...remember, you are creating a mental and emotional imprint of this person. Create a hook for yourself of their name. Does their name remind you of another name? Does it connect with the work that this person does in some way? Is there a word association you can create? Make a non-offensive comment about their name such as "That is my brother's name," or "That's a nice name is it a family name?" You are making a connection for yourself by commenting or inquiring about the name. Lesson: Remembering names is work, but worthwhile. Your Attitude Creates You You own your attitude. Respected Speaker and Personal Development Specialist Denis Waitley says we must "Do Within, While We Are Doing Without." Even when they cannot see the finish line, athletes see it inside. When racecar drivers start their engines, they see victory in the end. When you and I set out on a task, we know our hard work precedes success and can feel within. Realizing that your attitude is your compass in so many ways - personally, professionally, emotionally, physically, etc. - helps to put it in perspective! "You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you."                James Allen Home | Contact Us | Free Lead On! | Meet Michael | Management | Team Productivity | Workplace Relationships | Leadership Potential | Attitude | Results Focused Programs | Clients & Feedback | Meeting Planners | Resource Center | Hear Michael Poll Management Consultants | 564 Broadview Ave | Highland Park, IL 60035 USA Phone: 847-433-0908 | Fax: 847-433-0908 | michael@michaelpoll.com © 2001-2003 - Poll Management Consultants - All Rights Reserved